John's CV

Well, what can I say? Oof.. I'm a versatile singer/organist from Sheffield, South Yorkshire. As a lad, I once nursed an injured magpie back to full fitness in woodland on the outskirts of Hoyland Nether, near Barnsley. That's worth putting down, in't it? I hope so, as I just have done! Erm.. I was an apprentice joiner when I left school but within a few hours I became allergic to the rough end of the wood. You know, when you've sawn a piece of rough timber against the grain (which you should do, of course) you get shards and splinters and it used to set me teeth on edge. (I don't know why I mentioned that one, oh well, too late now!) Oof, moving on.. I used to be a security guard for a sweet factory in the Rotherham area, and after that I worked for Comet demonstrating audio equipment, though Trevor moved me on to toasters and irons which I've never forgiven him for.

Nowadays I'm a versatile singer/songwriter, and I play the electronic organ (with built in auto accompaniment). I also do a bit of drama, without having had any coaching whatsoever, apart from an hour with a lady called Patricia Willoughby who told me how to cry by yawning with your mouth closed. It's not easy but it does work, with practice. You try it, go on.. I'm also available for instore promotions, theme nights, sheltered accomodation, nostalgic singalongs, and civic walkabouts, etc.) The acting roles I've played include Wishee Washee in 'Aladdin' at Dinnington Alhambra (3 blockbusting years. Thanks Kenny. "Oh what times we had!"), and an Ethiopian Slave in South Yorkshire Amateur Operatic Society's production of 'Aida' (Incidentally, when the emperor fell of his throne one night, everybody laughed except me, because I reckoned a slave - who was soon to die - wouldn't laugh at that stage) More recently, I appeared as "Officer Shuttleworth" in an episode of the ever-green Kid's TV programme, "The Sooty Show" on CITV. (Hey, I've done quite a bit really haven't I? Well yes I have, as you will discover if you click on the many links in my website.)

But before you do that, let me just tell you my special skills: Pingpong (I prefer the hard bat and adopt a defensive position, well back from the table, legs bent slightly at the knee); Swimming Underwater (to be honest, I haven't attempted it for a while as there's always too many kiddies in the shallow end who clonk you on the head when they do honeypots); Carpentry, Pingpong (oo, I've already mentioned that one, sorry); DIY, and visiting garden centres with my charming wife, Mary. My ambition is to become successful in the sphere of popular music. (Time's running out for me, as I'm no spring chicken, I realise that) My agent is my nextdoor neighbour and sole agent, impresario, Ken Worthington (TV's Clarinet Man, who you may remember came last on New Faces in '73) And finally, my favourite food is my wife Mary's shepherd's pie, and my favourite colour is fawn.